Talk-show tango Nov. 9-13

Ellen DeGeneres and wife Portia de Rossi are on Oprah today! And there’s a tapeworm on Tyra. One will make me naseated because of too cuteness and the other, well, how badly could you need to drop a few pounds (oh yes, it’s a tapeworm DIET). To balance that out, Tyra will also give away 100,000 coats. But still. I think my flu is back. Blech.

LATE NIGHT

Late Show with David Letterman (11:35 p.m. ET on CBS)

Monday: Bill Murray (The Fantastic Mr. Fox), Gabourey Sidibe (Precious)

Tuesday: Jack Hanna, Shakira (She Wolf)

Wednesday: Kate Walsh (Private Practice), Andre Agassi (Open), Norah Jones (The Fall)

Thursday: kid scientists, Amanda Peet (2012), The Cribs (Ignore the Ignorant)

Friday: Mariah Carey (Precious and Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel), comic Kumail Nanjiani

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:35 a.m. ET on CBS)

Monday: tba

Tuesday:

Wednesday:

Thursday:

Friday:

The Jay Leno Show (10 p.m. ET on NBC, Citytv)

Monday: Dane Cook, Diablo Cody

Tuesday: The Biggest Loser castoff

Wednesday: Sandra Bullock

Thursday: Penelope Cruz, Dolly Parton

Friday: Terrence Howard, Terry Bradshow

Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien (11:35 p.m. ET on NBC)

Monday: Kelsey Grammer (Hank), Maj. Brian Dennis

Tuesday: Jessica Biel, Super Dave Osborne, John Fogerty

Wednesday: Heather Locklear (Melrose Place), comic Rodman

Thursday: Al Gore, Jim Parsons (Big Bang Theory), Jason Mraz

Friday: Reese Witherspoon, Danny DeVito, Kris Allen

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35 a.m. ET on NBC)

Monday: Laurence Fishburne (CSI triple crossover), Elmo and rosita

Tuesday: January Jones (Mad Men), Troy Polamalu, Wale

Wednesday: Jason Schwartzman (Bored to Death), Joan Cusack, Carly Simon

Thursday: Kate Walsh (Private Practice), Penn & Teller, Goodie Mob

Friday: Amanda Peet (2012), Steven Ward, Kid Sister

Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05 a.m. ET on ABC)

Monday: tba (repeat)

Tuesday: Chris O’Donnelle (NCIS Los Angeles), Bill Simmons (The Book of Basketball), Dancing with the Stars castoff

Wednesday: Dominic Monaghan (FlashForward), Los Lonely Boys

Thursday: Amir Blumenfeld and Streeter Seidell (Prank Wars), Switchfood

Friday: Jimmy’s Birthday! with Super Dave Osborne, Huey Lewis and the News

Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11 p.m. Comedy Network, midnight ET, CTV)

Monday: Senator Kid Bond (The Next Front)

Tuesday: Serena Williams (On the Line)

Wednesday: Clarence Clemons (Big Man)

Thursday: Jane Goodall (Hope for Animals and Their World)

The Colbert Report (11:30 p.m. Comedy Network, 12:30 a.m. ET, CTV)

Monday: Tom Campbell, Metropolitain Museum of Art

Tuesday: Maria Shriver, Special Olympics

Wednesday: Christopher Caldwell (Reflections on the Revolution in Europe)

Thursday: Woody Harrelson (2012, The Messenger)

The Hour (11 p.m. ET, CBC)

Monday: Isabella Rossellini, Al Jacobs

Tuesday: Valerie Bertinelli, Misha Glenny

Wednesday: Michael Buble, Patrricia Clarkson, Clive Owen

Thursday: tba

Friday: tba

Charlie Rose (11:30 p.m. ET, PBS)

Mr. Rose announces his guests only on the day of broadcast, so please click on the show-name link above for the most recent guest announcement.

Real Time with Bill Maher (11 p.m. ET, Fridays only, on HBO Canada)

Repeats until February

DAYTIME

Live with Regis and Kelly (9 a.m. ET, NBC and CTV)

Monday: tba

Tuesday:

Wednesday:

Thursday:

Friday:

The View 11 a.m. ET, ABC and CTV)

Monday: Teena Marie, Emma Thompson

Tuesday: Laurence Fishburne (CSI triple crossover), former miss California Carrie Prejean, Phil Lempert

Wednesday: Woody Harrelson (The Messenger, 2012), cast of Finian’s Rainbow

Thursday: Rachael Ray, Dancing with the Stars castoff

Friday: Stephen King (Under the Dome), Kool and the Gang

The Bonnie Hunt Show (2 p.m. ET on NBC, 3 p.m. ET on Citytv)

Monday: Valerie Bertinelli, Chris Colfer (Glee), Oscar the Grouch

Tuesday: Dr. Wayne Dyer

Wednesday: Chevy Chase (Community), Jennifer Morrison

Thursday: Dominic Monaghan (FlashForward), Morena Baccarin

Friday: Fran Drescher, Paula Deen, Michael Groover

The Ellen DeGeneres Show (4 p.m. ET, CBS)

Monday: George Lopez, Robin Wright

Tuesday: Jenny McCarthy, Sheman Moore

Wednesday: John Travolta, Ella Bleu Travolta

Thursday: See Ellen’s Cover of O

Friday: Harry Connick Jr., Paula Patton (Precious)

Oprah 4 p.m. (NBC and CTV)

Monday: Ellen DeGeneres, Portia de Rossi

Tuesday: Death Row Exclusive — Confronting the Killer

Wednesday: tba

Thursday: Karako Challenge Finals

Friday: Oprah Live

The Tyra Show (10 a.m. ET on Citytv)

Monday: The Tapeworm Diet

Tuesday: Top Model’s Miss J Tells All

Wednesday: Halle Berry (fragrance Halle), America’s Next Top Model judge Nigel Barker

Thursday: Tyra Gives Away 100,000 Coats plus Wishes Come True

Friday: Cast of Glee and cast of Precious

– Denise Duguay

Friday poll: Loving Lithgow and looking for another show to kill

Hello chickens! If this is Friday, then it’s time for another poll.
Last week on Inside the Box, we asked: Who is your favourite new television character this season?

My vote went to Edie Falco’s junkie-nurse-philanderer in the Movie Network dramedy Nurse Jackie. And I was alone. Sigh. Not even Mother would stand with me on this one.
According to you louts, the most favoured new character this season was…
John Lithgow, all creepy and occasionally naked (very naked) as the evil Trinity Killer on Dexter, evil as opposed to the “good” avenging title killer, played by Michael C. Hall. Lithgow took home just over half the votes.
The remaining vote getters were:

• Julianna Margulies as the lawyer/mom in The Good Wife with 19 per cent,
• The evil vampire brother on The Vampire Diaries, played by ex Lostie Ian Somerhalder, with 14 per cent, and
• The wierd kid on The Middle and the vampire queen on True Blood, with five per cent apiece.

There were, however, a couple of glaring oversights in last week’s poll options. The first was pointed out by a Facebook friend Pat S.: “Sue Sylvester, coach of the Cheerios on Glee!” Chapeau to you, Sue, you demented blonde. (And thanks to you, Pat.) The second was pointed out by fellow Gazetteer Jordan Zivitz, who offered: “Robert Knepper’s carnival weirdo on Heroes”. Perhaps if I have a poll on which male characters make the best use of smudged eye liner, I’ll include Knepper. Thanks for the tip JZ.

Now then, this week’s shameless self-indulgence is this question: Which show deserves to be cancelled next?
Acclaimed L.A. cop drama Southland has been saved from certain death now that TNT, a U.S.-only cable outlet, has confirmed it will carry the show that NBC killed before airing any of the second season THAT IT ORDERED LAST SPRING??? (Details yet to be revealed about how or if Canadians will see it since TNT is not available except to computer eggheads).
Otherwise this season, the new show death tally is pretty low so far: The Mischa Barton modelling “drama” The Beautiful Life was exterminated after just two episodes.
Trauma, about the melodramas among emergency responders, has been sacked, although NBC will air all 13 episodes initially ordered.

But surely, you have other shows you’d like to see die. And I’m not limiting it to new shows. I haven’t heard a single good word about Grey’s Anatomy yet this season. There’s a handful of other options in this week’s poll, which you’ve already seen up top.
Vote and vote as many times as you like. And if you don’t see a show you’d like to see die, you can add it youself.
Bon weekend!
– Denise Duguay

Remember to – cough – watch V Tuesday at 8

Tuesday, 8 p.m. on CTV and ABC is the start of the new series V.

I promised a pre-broadcast look at the new series, however, the flu has left with with only enough energy to remind you to watch.

Here’s a preview from CTV’s site, where you can also watch episodes on CTV’s video player after they air.  We’ll talk later.

– Denise Duguay