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Words of TV wisdom from Esquire magazine

In Uncategorized on 12/18/2008 at 4:01 pm

The most recent edition of Esquire magazine is the great annual collection called What I’ve Learned, sampling the wisdom — sometimes rambling, sometimes brilliant — of celebrities from politics (Bill Richardson), film (Clint Eastwood, Gus Van Sant), music (Eminem), Planet Famous for Being Famous (Paris Hilton) and — most importantly for this finger on the pulse blog, television.

Here are a couple of highlights of the bon mots tossed out by TV types. If you need an excuse to procrastinate from holiday shopping, you are welcome my friend.

Another option, if you’re waiting in the car while your wife is battling the crowds inside the mall (for shame!), is to pick up a copy of the mag.

From this year’s edition, here’s Bob Newhart, comedian and star of 50 or 60 self-titled shows and specials, including Newhart and The Bob Newhart Show:

“The calm-deliverything started when I was an accountant. At the end of the day, I’d be really going crazy. I had this friend of mine in advertising. I’d call him up and play a character, just to break the monotony of things. I’d call and I’d say, “Mr. Stevenson, I don’t mean to bother you, but I’m here at the yeast factory, and a fire broke out, and they sent over a bunch of fire engines and they’re throwing water. I gotta run up to the second floor, ’cause the yeast is rising.” I’d just make a whole scenario, and he was the straight man.”

And from the magazine’s What I’ve Learned archives, here’s a more sombre observation from the late, great George Carlin, comedian:

“I was in my mother’s belly as she sat in the waiting room of the abortionist’s office. Dr. Sunshine was his code name. I was fifty feet from the drainpipe, and she saw a painting on the wall that reminded her of her mother, who had recently died. She took that as a sign to have the baby. That’s what I call luck.”

— Denise Duguay

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