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Talk-show tango Aug. 9-13: Arcade Fire, Sylvester Stallone, Julia Roberts and more

In television on 08/08/2010 at 8:50 pm

Hello? Is this thing on? Where have you BEEN for six weeks? Uh, wait. I guess it was me who was AWOL. But I’m back now and we got some TV to talk. Arcade Fire looks like a hot ticket Thursday on the Daily Show, if you’re not already overkilled by the hype surrounding their new release, The Suburbs. Also, there is plenty Sylvester Stallone to go around as he and co-star Jason Statham promo their new film The Replacements. The girly girls will rejoice at Julia Roberts stumping for Eat, Pray, Love. And just for me, Regis and Kelly are having Buddy Valastro on their show, where the Cake Boss will talk dirty icing and chocolate fondant. I’ll be catching up on the landslide of TV news in my absence. Stay tuned. And it goes without saying, missed you madly.

LATE NIGHT

Lopez Tonight (11 p.m. ET on TLN Videotron 250, Bell 700, Shaw 69 and 280)

Monday: Eva Mendes, Har Mar Superstar, Josh Hutcherson, Dolph Ziggler

Tuesday: Anna Paquin (True Blood), Randy ‘The Viper’ Orton, R-Truth

Wednesday: Mark Wahlberg (the Other Guys), Bill Bellamy, David Otunga

Thursday: Gordon Ramsay (Hell’s Kitchen), The Miz

Late Show with David Letterman (11:35 p.m. ET on CBS)

Monday: Adam Sandler (Grown-Ups), Bettye Lavette (R)

Tuesday: Joan Rivers, Steve Winwood (R)

Wednesday: Jay-Z, Eminem (R)

Thursday: Julia Roberts (Eat, Pray, Love), The Dead Weather (Sea of Cowards)

Friday: Dolly Parton (25th anniversary of Dollywood), U.S. soccer player Landon Donovan

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:35 a.m. ET on CBS)

Monday: Lindsay Sloane, Vampire Weekend

Tuesday: David Duchovny, Dave Barry

Wednesday: Maggie Gyllenhaal

Thursday: Emma Thompson, Carlos Alzraqui

Friday: Anna Kendrick

The Jay Leno Show (10 p.m. ET on NBC, A Channel)

Monday: Howie Mandel, Mike Posner

Tuesday: Anna Kendrick, Eli Roth, Meatloaf

Wednesday: Jason Statham (The Replacements), Los Lobos

Thursday: Javier Barden (Eat, Pray, Love), Paul Watson and Peter Bethune, the Whigs

Friday: Justin Long, Alejandro Escovedo

Keeping watching this space: The Conan O’Brien Show will debut in November, in Canada on CTV, Monday to Thursday nights at 1 a.m. (after Colbert), and two hours earlier in the U.S., on TBS.

Until then, click this link for his Twitter patter. 140 characters of witty bits from his Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on Televsion comedy tour and occasional bits of news.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35 a.m. ET on NBC)

Monday: Jason Bateman (the Switch), Kieren Culkin and China Chow, Menomena

Tuesday: Dylan McDermott, Perez Hilton, Slayer

Wednesday: soccer player Landon Donovan, Michael Cera, JP, Chrissie and the Fairground Boys

Thursday: Mickey Rourke, Kids in the Hall, the Walkmen

Friday: Gabourey Sidibe (The Big C), Aubrey Plaza, Bobby Slayton

Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05 a.m. ET on ABC)

Monday: Jada Pinkett Smith (HawthoRNe, Chris Harrison, Luke Bryan

Tuesday: Sofia Vergara (Modern Family), Gordon Ramsay (Hell’s Kitchen), Christian Scott

Wednesday: Jason Schwartzman (the Other Guys), Reed Alexander, Joanna Newsom

Thursday: Sylvester Stallone and Jason Statham (The Replacements), Buckcherry

Friday: tba

Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11 p.m. Comedy Network, midnight ET, CTV)

Monday: tba repeat

Tuesday: Jason Bateman (The Switch)

Wednesday: Laura Linney (the Big C)

Thursday: Arcade Fire (The Suburbs)

The Colbert Report (11:30 p.m. Comedy Network, 12:30 a.m. ET, CTV)

Monday: tba repeat

Tuesday: Dylan Ratigan

Wednesday: David Finkel (The Good Soldiers)

Thursday: artist Chuck Close

The Hour (11 p.m. ET, CBC)

Monday-Friday: repeats while George Stroumboulopoulos is on a road trip, which you can follow on his Twitter account, @strombo

Charlie Rose (11:30 p.m. ET, PBS)

Mr. Rose announces his guests only on the day of broadcast, so please click on the show-name link above for the most recent guest announcement.

Real Time with Bill Maher (10 p.m. ET, Fridays only, on HBO Canada)

Show’s on hiatus while Bill takes a summer, mid-season break. Must be nice. Counting the days…

DAYTIME

Live with Regis and Kelly (9 a.m. ET, NBC and CTV)

Monday: Julia Roberts (Eat, Pray, Love), Buddy Valastro (Cake Boss), Anderson Cooper

Tuesday: Sylvester Stallone (The Replacements), Gabourey Sidibe (the Big C)

Wednesday: Anthony Edwards (Flipped)

Thursday: Jason Bateman (the Switch), Chris Bosh

Friday: Jimmy Fallon (Late Night)

The View 11 a.m. ET, ABC and CTV)

Monday: vice-president Joe Biden, Fred Hammond (R)

Tuesday: Gwyneth Paltrow, Patricia Arquette, Melissa Etheridge (R)

Wednesday: Bill and Guiliana Rancic (Bill and Guiliana) (R)

Thursday: Kate Gosselin, Travis McCoy

Friday: Benjamin Bratt, Andre Leon Talley, Dave Annable (Brothers and Sisters)

The Bonnie Hunt Show (2 p.m. ET on NBC, 3 p.m. ET on Citytv)

Monday-Friday: repeats for the rest of the summer (series has been cancelled)

The Ellen DeGeneres Show (4 p.m. ET, CBS)

Monday: Scarlett Johanson, Melissa Etheridge (R)

Tuesday: Jennifer Garner, Paolo Nutini (R)

Wednesday: Courteney Cox Arquette, Ricky Gervais, Jessie James (R)

Thursday: Jimmy Smits, T.R. Knight, Daughtry (R)

Friday: tba

Oprah 4 p.m. (NBC and CTV)

Monday: Oprah says why she’ll never diet again (R)

Tuesday: glamour jobs (R)

Wednesday: Food 101 with Michael Pollan (R)

Thursday: the woman who lost 350 pounds (R)

Friday: Julia Roberts and the men of Eat, Pray, Love (R)

— Denise Duguay

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