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Talk-show Tango Sept. 12-16: Charlie Sheen? Anderson Cooper? Why don’t you both come on down

In television on 09/12/2011 at 7:41 am

Tiger blood and … real blood. Sounds like just another day chez Charlie Sheen, whose spectacular exit from Two and a Half Men earlier this year sparked a comedy tour as well as the inevitable Comedy Central Roast, which was taped in L.A. Saturday and will air in Canada on the Comedy Network on Monday, Sept. 19 at 10 p.m. ET, the same day that Two and a Half Men returns, with Ashton Kutcher picking up the empty third spot in the three-hander with Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones. Here’s the L.A. Times review of the show, which notes that along with tiger blood, the event also saw the need for a bit of first aid for Jackass star Steve-O when he … well why don’t you just click and find out. Want to watch the “Normalville” trailer for the roast? Click here.

Because that’s not nearly enough attention for the oddly quiet Sheen, he’s also on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno on Thursday. That sounds about right.

And CNN’s Anderson Cooper? Well he’s gone all daytime, with a new talk show called Anderson, debuting today on NBC, CFCF and CJOH. Check below for guests and start times.

LATE NIGHT

Late Show with David Letterman (11:35 p.m. ET on CBS)

Monday: Paul Rudd (Our Idiot Brother), comic Bill Burr, Dennis Chambers (R)

Tuesday: Julianna Margulies (The Good Wife), comic Joe Wong, Lady Antebellum (R)

Wednesday: Alex Baldwin, Lenny Kravitz (Black & White America) (R)

Thursday: Kirstie Alley, Louis C.K., Fountains of Wayne (Sky Full of Holes) (R)

Friday: Ashton Kutcher (Two and a Half Men), Rafael Nadal, Stewart Copeland (R)

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:35 a.m. ET on CBS)

Monday: Lauren Graham (Parenthood), Chris Young

Tuesday: James Woods, Kathryn Hahn

Wednesday: Moulin Rouge dancers, Danny DeVito (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia), Olivia Munn (I Don’t Know How She Does It)

Thursday: Sigourney Weaver, Ted Alexandro

Friday: Kunal Nayyar, Anthony Head

The Jay Leno Show (10 p.m. ET on NBC, A Channel)

Monday: Christina Applegate (Up All Night), DJ Pauly D (Jersey Shore), Glen Campbell

Tuesday: Ellen DeGeneres (Ellen), Bob Harper (The Biggest Loser), Cobra Starship

Wednesday: Jane Lynch (Glee, The Emmys), Demetri Martin, Heed to Breathe

Thursday: Charlie Sheen, Kevin Hart, LMFAO

Friday: Jason Statham, Michele Bachmann, Lady Antebellum

Conan (midnight ET on Comedy Network, 1 a.m. on CTV)

Monday: tba

Tuesday:

Wednesday:

Thursday:

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (12:35 a.m. ET on NBC)

Monday: Sarah Michele Gellar (Ringer), Alexander Skarsgard (True Blood)

Tuesday: Will Arnett (Up All Night), Richard Branson

Wednesday: Greg Kinnear, Bear Grylls (Man vs. Wild)

Thursday: tba

Friday: Zoey Deschanels (New Girl), Jason “Mayhem” Miller

Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05 a.m. ET on ABC)

Monday: Nathan Fillion (Castle), Dave Salmoni, Sia

Tuesday: Judge Judy, Emily VanCamp (Revenge), Staind

Wednesday: Little League World Series champs Ocean View Little League from Huntington Beach, Cake

Thursday: Steve Buscemi (Boardwalk Empire), Lily Collins (Abduction), Ziggy Marley

Friday: tba

Chelsea Lately (11-11:30 p.m. ET on E!, formerly Star!, Videotron digital 125, Bell 621, Shaw Direct 168 and 527)

Monday: tba

Tuesday:

Wednesday:

Thursday:

Friday:

Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11 p.m. Comedy Network, midnight ET, CTV)

Monday: Mike Mullen

Tuesday: Jim Lehrer

Wednesday: Common

Thursday: Caroline Kennedy

The Colbert Report (11:30 p.m. Comedy Network, 12:30 a.m. ET, CTV)

Monday: Diane Sawyer (Jacqueline Kennedy: In Her Own Words)

Tuesday: Al Gore (24 Hours of Reality)

Wednesday: Michael Moore (Here Comes Trouble)

Thursday: David Copperfield (Brainworks)

George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight (11 p.m. ET, CBC)

Monday: Angela Davis

Tuesday: Shaun Majumder

Wednesday: Shania Twain

Thursday: Bradley Cooper

Friday: new-season preview

Charlie Rose (11:30 p.m. ET, PBS)

Mr. Rose announces his guests only on the day of broadcast, check the show’s Twitter account for daily guest announcements.

Real Time with Bill Maher (11 p.m. ET, Fridays only, on HBO Canada)

Friday (note later 11 p.m. start): returns with new episodes but damned if I can find out who’s on the show. I’ll keep trying.

DAYTIME

Live with Regis and Kelly (9 a.m. ET, NBC and CTV)

Monday: Greg Kinnear (I Don’t Know How She Does It), Paul Wesley (The Vampire Diaries)

Tuesday: Diane Sawyer (Jacqueline Kennedy: In Her Own Words), Meredith Vieira, Sarah Michelle Gellar (Ringer)

Wednesday: Pierce Brosnan (I Don’t Know How She Does It)

Thursday: Zooey Deschanel (New Girl), Miss Universe

Friday: Andy Cohen cohosts, James Marsden (Straw Dogs), Gavin Degraw

The View 11 a.m. ET, ABC and CTV)

Monday: Dr. Phil

Tuesday: Dick and Lynne Cheney, Kristin Chenoweth

Wednesday: Michael Moore

Thursday: Gerard Butler, Kurt and Brenda Warner (One Call Away)

Friday: Sarah Jessica Parker (I Don’t Know How She Does It)

The Talk (2 p.m., CBS)

Monday: Lorraine Bracco

Tuesday: Stevie Nicks

Wednesday: Josh Charles (The Good Wife)

Thursday: Valerie Harper

Friday: Kathy Griffin

Anderson (3 p.m. on NBC, CFCF in Montreal; 5 p.m. on CJOH in/from Ottawa)

Monday: Mitch and Janis Winehouse, the parents of Amy Winehouse

Tuesday: Snooki Polizzi (Jersey Shore),  Kathy Griffin (My Life on the D-List), Daniel Radcliffe

Wednesday: adults who were abandoned as children

Thursday: Sarah Jessica Parker, Greg Kinnear, Christina Hendricks and Olivia Munn (I Don’t Know How She Does It)

Friday: Lisa Vanderpump, Kyle Richards, Camille Grammer and Adrienne Maloof (The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills)

The Ellen DeGeneres Show (4 p.m. ET, CBS)

Monday: Ashton Kutcher (Two and a Half Men)

Tuesday: David Arquette (Dancing With the Stars)

Wednesday: Jon Cryer (Two and a Half Men), Chaz Bono (Dancing With the Stars), Taylor Swift

Thursday: tba

Friday: tba

— Denise Duguay

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